I have Come A Long Way To Here!

It has been a year since my stroke last summer and I am ready to tell you about my experiences.

They have a picture of the inside of my eye and they take that same picture every single time that I go there. They give me a diolator first and sometimes a anesthesia that works too a point. So I can see what is going on too. They said that there was a lot of fluid in my eye. I don't where it comes from or how it gets there but they do know how to get rid of it, which is good.It has been a year since my stroke in 2019 and a whole lot of changes made. This last time I had a dr. visit and they put the diolator in my eye and it hurt so bad that I wanted to punch them in the face so that they could feel it too. We also had the pleasure of living through a pandemic of what was/is called Corona Virus or Covid-19.  That didn't affect me personally that much because now I cannot drive and it has been a while since I could see enough and be steady enough on my feet to move around much.

The first thing that I noticed about two months after my stroke was my vision.  It was and is still very weird and not anything like I was expecting at all. I noticed the my depth perception was gone and I could not hold anything that someone was giving me cause where I thought it was it wasn't there.  Still have problems with this but now I am a bit better able to deal with it.  If I miss it then I just know that it really isn't there and try again and eventually I get it.  It may take me a few times but I do get it.  Tough road.  My vision was blurry while I was having a very bad headache.  I thought it was a Migraine as I posted earlier.  I still think it was some sort of blood clot, not caused by Diabetes.  Do you know how hard it is to fry anything with a blurred vision, depth perception out and can't see colors very well?  Hardest things I have ever had to do.  So I don't fry things much at all.  My crock pot comes in handy! I also had to learn other ways of cooking eggs and such.  There is a really neat way to cook them in the oven.  Been learning how to do things differently for a while now and things will not go back to the same ways again.

I could not longer type or read at all and cooking was totally out.  I am not allowed to take things up and down stars either.  Takes driving away from me as well, which worked out fine for me and the Corona Virus lockdowns and such. Eating with a fork on my plate is a bit on the ridiculous side and I stopped eating after a few bites of trying to stab the food that I could not figure out where it was on the plate.  I still do that just not as bad.  It is a learning process for sure.

My demeanor has changed very much.  I cuss more because I am finding that there are no nice words in describing what I am feeling when I am feeling it.    My temper is very short now and find it hard to stay calm longer.

Oh and just a few weeks ago I did find out what this is all caused by.  It has been really a good thing that I learned about this but a bad thing that I learned it too late.  I had the head ache that would drive anyone crazy but it also showed the my sugar was very high as well.  I have no idea why my sugar got that high.  The said it was because of my Diabetes, but I did not have Diabetes and certainly did not years before my strik.  The exact same symptoms show up in a lack of Chromium.  Yes a simple trace mineral deficiency.  Surprised me much when I happened up that.  And to tell you the truth nobody believes me.  Riiiight!  I did not make it up but going through my book it had those things in it and I just happened to read that topic and was very surprised.  One, not a single soul in the medical offices or Dr.s said anything about this to me at all.  They simply want to sell drugs!  I haven't taken their drugs for a long time and will never. A Chromium Deficiency Does a lot with Glucose levels in the bloodstream, (GTF)) which makes the energy for the body, It synchronizes the fats, proteins and cholesterol and it plays a vital role in that.  It is also responsible for High Blood Pressure!  Low amounts of this also causes Hypertension and is associated with Coronary Artery Disease. The average diet is insufficient in Chromium.  It is not in the soil, but can be taken with pills and is called a supplement. Why do not any Physicians know about this?  They are wrapped up giving people drugs that have many side effects and some even give you what you are trying to get rid of?  This supplement has no side effects. I wish I knew when I became or how I became deficient in this and I would have gotten that straight form th beginning.  So much learned so fast.

Hard to read this but it says about what I said in the paragrpah before this picture.

The next signs that I experienced with my vision it went to just being about to see everything like in the clay that pottery is made from and all grey for a few weeks.  Wow that scarred me to no end. I thought that I would never be able to see normally again.  I wanted to sit and cry but that would not do any good.  I don't cry for myself like that but only for a dying pet or loved one. They told me to go to an eye doctor and they sent me to a place 3 1/2 hours away.  I live very close to one clinic but the insurance would not cover in another state and so I had to go to the one in Morgantown.

Nobody took into account that I had fallen a few weeks before this head ache and dizziness.  The dizziness was very mild at first.  That didn't bother me as much as it did my husband.  He was in the other part of the state while this was going on and I got into an accident.  I told the police man that I will never go around a roundabout ever again, and I will not.  It wa worse after I came home from the hospital.  I could not even get out of the shower I was so dizzy.  I was not going back into that hospital again.  It seems that they have blinder on to what is really happening and what they think is happening for others.
  Scared me and I will not go back into the hospital again, on account that they denied me food and water and would not give me my last pain killer and lied about that.  I hate being lied to.  I also think they had to wait until my sugar was low enough and that took a few days without a stitch of food.  The answer they gave me was that they had to see if I could swallow before giving anything to eat.  Like I said I had being lied too.  That was just an awful answer and never to this day makes any sense to me at all.


I still have the pain in my knees when I fell prior to going to the hospital and I  don't think it is going away anytime soon.  I also have a pis in my arm too.  Though I had that pain at least a years prior to the hospital visit.  Still there and can't lift anything up over my shoulder  and can't push anything down either. I don't know if any of this can be fixed now.  Stupid Dr.s all they want is money and not help.

The place they sent me to see my eyes, that Dr. is nice, but they are still asking me if I am taking my Blood Sugar levels and I tell them no, because I know it was not Diabetes.  Always known this and now with this new information truly know this.  I have been taking Chromium and Cinnamon pills with my breakfast and yes it is helping.  Today I feel good!  Really good except my vision is still off, but I can see colors and my depth perception comes and goes.

What they did at that center was give me laser treatments and no these are not the same as the Cataract treatments and hurt like all get out, even after the stuff they gave me to numb my eyes.  When they did the first laser shot it threw me off and I did jump back.  That was a natural response to pain. It felt just like someone took some big needles or pins and I mean big, and poked them in my eyes.  She asked if I was ready for some pain and I said yes, but I was not expecting that much pain.  She had to burn each and every blood vessel in and around my Rhetina.  About  a thousand shots in one eye was almost way too much and I did not really want to go back to get the other eye done.

Oh Wait it gets better!  Now I am getting Avastia shots, from syringes inserted in my eye,  Right in the Retina itself not around it or in any other part of the ye.

Avastin is a drug used to treat wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It is also used to treat diabetic eye disease and other problems of the retina. It is injected into the eye to help slow vision loss from these diseases.

Avastin is the brand name for the drug, which is called bevacizumab. It blocks the growth of abnormal blood vessels in the back of the eye. Those blood vessels can leak and affect vision, causing vision loss from wet AMD and diabetic eye disease.

Other side effects may include:

• eye redness
• being extra sensitive to light (yes I have this at times)
• eye pain
• swelling inside the eye (Dr. has seen some of this)
• changes in vision, including blurriness, floaters, and seeing double images
• dry or itchy eyes
• feeling like something is in your eye ( did not know this but have some of this every now and again)

The first one was scary and hurts lots and it made my eyes tear for some time afterwards and I though that was it.  Hahaha,  I have had my third shot here and the next one will be in the last week of August.

The second shot had to be rescheduled the next moth because we were on LockDown for the Covid-19.    We were not allowed out of our houses for anything but groceries.  That lasted about a moth and then they have strict stipulations visiting hospitals and doctors offices.  This last time was crazy!  My husband could drop me off and I had to wear a mask and get the stuff they needed to do to my eyes and then somehow find my way out of the office and get my husband to pick me up.  I will tell you that as soon as I got into the car that mask came off.  I had a hard time breathing,  Yes a hard time breathing.  This Covid-19 stuff is nuts to the top!!!

So they were trying to get rid of the yellow that I saw when I was in the sun.  All I saw was a yellow hue blanketing everything that I was seeing.  They did find u that was in my eye too and gave the me the next shot to see if it would get rid of it.  YES I did

I am steadier on my feet now.  That is better than before and much more trustworthy that even two weeks before my stroke.  This does something to your confidence I found.  I was afraid to walk around my yard or in the drive way or in the street.  Tory me up pretty bad when I could not walk in my gardens or do any gardening at all.

So I have had to find new ways of doing things and relearning some things.  I still can talk and I have notice my temper is shortened a bit.  But I am trying my hardest to overcome all this health and eye stuff and not back down when things are lies and I know that they are lies fro some medical personnel.  My husband has been a good trouper with me and my shorter temper and doing things for me that I used to do and can't now.  Oh in the begging when my eyesight was bad I could see in front of me and not really good the distance things.  Now it is totally opposite.  Eating with a fork or utensils is hard for me and a bit hard when we go out and eat and I get so frustrated in eating that I never finish my meals.  I end up taking it hoe cuz I just get so tired of feeding my face, literally.  Crazy isn't it?

During the pandemic I have lost two of my gi goy cats about a month apart.  Frederick and Sidney and they are adaly missed.  I also lost an Aunt that I didn't know about and an Uncle the I did but could not make it to either funeral.  So sad and I and my husband visted them a few weeks before.

We are still in the pandemic and this will affect all of us for years to come.  Some things have changed drastically and some not as bad.


Now with my Diet concerns and abilities.  I was given the name of a Dietician and she went over my hospital visit and came up with a diet aht I would eat half of what I would normally eat.  Okay I had a hard time with that for one reason they all think that I got Diabetes from my weight and that they do not like me weighing what I do, which is only 122.  I am not obese and never was.  This is the highest I ever weighed as far as I can remember.  So I did try her diet but like I said I do not think I am Diabetic.

I went to another Dietician and she told me that I should not eat white such as rice, cereal, fruits, bread, pasta or grains, and want me to be totally carb free..  I was taking something to help me with my weight and I told her that I was taking it and she got all flustered and upset and told me not to take it because it was not FDA approved.  Well that got me doin ore research and found out that the FDA did in fact approve it and it was in other medicines and the like in 1994.  She did not know and she was not going to investigate it.  What the hell!!!  So I printed it out and cancelled any appointments with her.  Meanwhile I was to work out and do more things, and taking care of cats and gardening were not enough.  Well not being able to see stopped me from walking, which I was doing regularly.  My A1C was high in the hospital and as you all know I researched that and just write it on my previous blog post about this. I had come down three whole points in two months time!  To me that was a very good start.  It didn't seem so for her.

I still have problems seeing and it is hard for me to type this long post but I am stubborn and will do it.  I think  that is what is keeping me going... stubborness.  I never have had a good relationship with Dr.s and I wonder why they feel it is right to lie to their patients.   As you can read my other posts here you can see why I do not like any Dr or hospital.  Funny that!

Coming home after my hospital visit was not a fun idea as it was 103 degrees and I thought that I was going to die.  I really thought that I was going to die! I did mostly laying around for a couple of weeks.  Then I had a doctors appointment with my primary care physician and that did not go over to well with her or me for that matter.  She told me that in my charts there was a pages that said Colonoscopies but nothing after that page.  I was upset because I had paid to get those and gave them all to the desk clerk and they lost them all!  There were 9 colonoscopies that I had had through the years.  Some of which I ended up in the hospital for.  Anyway she told me that she would put me back on the Warfarin and I said no you will not.  She didn't even ask me why.  Then she wanted me to take a baby aspirin and I said now I will not take that and I told her why and she just said that a little bit of bleeding isn't going to hurt me.  Then she asks me what she could help me with and I said nothing. She then asked my husband what he thought of it all.  He told her that if I do not take them it is not going to help me and and that was my choice.  He didn't know the whole story of why I would not take them either until I told him afterwards in the car going home. I was really upset with her that she didn't know that while I was on Warfarin for three years that I had three blood clots and a bleed out.  And she did not have any of my colonoscopy records either.  She threatened me by saying that I will be back in the hospital again soon.  I said to her No I Won't.So my husband said lets go and we walked out of her office.  I have never been back since.  I don't know what these new doctors are being taught but it isn't much.  Having a bleed out was very painful.  It feels like something is stabbing you stomach on the inside out.  Very painful and made me double over in pain.  And she though there is no pain with a small bleed out.  Bull!  Many people do not understand that either until I put that pain into words, the best I know how.

On the way home I did get her prescriptions filled and took them until I was having a bad reaction to the one drug Metforim.  So I did my research and found there is a lawsuit on it.  Man I could not get to the bathroom fast enough before I was throwing up and had the worst diarrhea in my life at the same time.  My bathroom is only 12 feet away from my bed.
She gave me another version of the same drug to try and when I went to have it filled the Pharmacist talked to me asking why I changed the drugs.  For God Sake he should be asking my Dr. that question!  No matt after taking that and had the same effects as the one that wasn't coated I stopped taking it altogether.  I did not like Statins so I did not take that anymore either and the one for the Cholesterol, I stopped taking that as well. I just don't like chemicals in my body.

The biggest problem is numbers. It is hard reading them off my cards to put them into a database or order forn online. Sometimes, not as often now, I have to have my husband read them to me and I type them in. I could not pay bills for a while and had the hard time teaching my husband how to and that was something. I would cry and get upset and had to walk away for an hour or so. See I remember where things are on my keyboard but my fingers decide where and what keys they hit. Crazy!! So I am constantly re checking things out.

So I have come a long way since last year.
I started with the stoke which I thought was a Migraine and all a huge friggen headache that got worse when I took a hot shower and a had a slight dizziness with walking around.
Hey I can remember being able to see the sky with white Clouds and blue sky.  That was a big day that day and totally wonderful  I was seeing everything in the sky as browns and it all looked the same.
Then my vision was sort of a tunnel vision and could only see half of everything to now seeing better peripheral vision and now colors and shapes and many things, just not distinctly like individual leaves on the trees like clearly. The only thing I have no is not being able to see close up, like eating food from my plate.
I was very dizzy after coming home from the hospital and now I am not dizzy at all and know my steps and where I am walking.  Got my self-confidence back Whew Hoo!
Good things!

Addition:

One other thing I forgot to mention is I cannot write real good anymore.  When I have take a message for my husband I need to tell the person to go slow as U had a stroke last years and for some reason I can't see what I am writing and to take their time.