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Jul 22, 2011

Whispers From Oz -Chapter 7


By Lady Guinevere

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No More Pushing Buttons

The night that my parent's dropped me off at the was the night hat I took a stand that he would never push my buttons again. Nope, not ever! No emotional nor mental blackmail or manipulation on his part would ever affect me again...ever.
No one believes what happened when I tell them. We were sitting in the living room watching some show that he wanted to watch. Hey why not it was his house! I wasn't paying much attention anyway. The girls had already gone to their rooms and it was just he and I. He never talked to me much after the divorce. I still am ignored for the most part, to this day...even through the wedding of our oldest daughter. I bet it will be the same when the new baby comes along too. He spoke up and out of his mouth came another big shock, much like the divorce thing.
He told me that I had to find another place to live. He gave me two weeks to find one. I did not make a flinch or a move and I did not let him see what was reeling in my mind. He was not going to push my buttons anymore!

The Brght Side

For three days my mind reeled as to what I was going to do. I had no friends here that weren't also friends with my ex, and we went to the same church. I didn't have any money saved up for anapartment and on just the wages I was making I would never be able to afford an apartment. I didn't know anyone outside of my family. They couldn't help me either. My mom and I don't get along and everything always has strings attached to them when she does help me. I didn't want to go to them. I didn't know what to do or who to talk too or anything. I truly felt like I was in a tornado and no one to hold my hand or pull me out or even to reach for. He had really done it. He had really screwed me over, under, around and in between. I really think he relished in it. He was a complete stranger to me now. Just an sorry excuse for a person on this planet.
Well the only thing good about this so far is that I still had a job--even with the hospital episode. These people really helped others. The amazed me. They were so good and they really went the extra mile to help someone out if they could. I have never been in such a loving environment before as with these people and the company that I worked for. They let me come back to work. They could have fired me when I did not return when I was supposed to, but they didn't and I was happy about that.
After a week, with not finding anywher to live or even how to survive this...I sucked up my pride and called my parents and told them what my ex said. Mom couldn't believe her ears. She kept saying "What?' To think this was my High School Sweetheart!!! I just couldn't understand any of his reasons about all of this. It just makes no sense only that he is a cruel, inhuman, spiteful and everything else that he called me in that letter that he put in my suitcase on that trip to see my friend.
Well my parent's had a cabin in the mountains in the woods that they had on the market to sell. It had sold, but I am one lucky person to have parent's like mine! Oh my mom doesn't see it and she doesn't believe it that I am so thankful to them for everything that they have done for me. The day I told them about me being thrown out--well they called the real estate person whom they were working with and told them they couldn't sell it because their daughter needed a place to live. It just so happened that the real estate person did just that, but she didn't have too. The cabin was already sold and my parent's had to renege on the deal. I am thankful that they did that.
The arrangements were made and that I would move out that weekend into the cabin. I was to pay for all my utilities and food myself, but would not have to pay rent for it.
It was kind of like my own space that I have tried to get on my own for a very long time and I finally did. Only it wasn't supposed to be this way. At any rate, I was in my own place and that was a very good thing. I didn't have to try to talk to my ex and I didn't have to see him. That was the Bright Side!!

Some People Are Not People Persons

The commute was bad and if I had to do it today I would not be able to afford the gas to get there. It was 1 1/2 hours one way. It wasn't too bad going to work but I always hit the traffic coming home and it usually took me 2 hours to get home instead. I was bushed by the time that I got home. I had just enough time to feed myself and then go to bed to do it all over again the next day.
As time went by and it was about a year down the road I decided, with the help of my supervisor, to ask for a transfer to the new store that was only 1/2 hour from me. That took several months.
When I got to talk to the manager of this store I told him that I could not stand for more than a hour or so. I told him my medical history and he got all my files and such from the other store where I worked and was though of as an excellent employee.
I did have one spot on my record though. I was assigned to the fitting room and my other tasks were answering the phones and making transfers and helping people find what they were looking for. Well one day I had an obscene phone call and I just told the person in a nice way that this was offensive to me and that he needed to be transferred to some other department. He hung up and 15 minutes later (mind you none of the floor managers in my department were there because they had left for the day) he called back and I got flustered and hung up on him. I thought that was the end of that. Oh no, it got worse and he called back and someone got through me and talked to personnel or someone over my head because I was called into the office and spoken harshly too about phone etiquette. They didn't tell me who called or even what they said, but I kind of knew.
I also had a severe stomach ache one day and had to go home. That is what it looks like on my records--that I just had a silly stomach ache and wanted to go home. That was the furthest from the truth. When I went home I called my doctor and told him of my stomach ache. It was so severe that I was doubling over in pain. No one would believe me. What is i with this world!!?? Anyway he had me go get a blood test and then I was sent home that day. I got home and waited about an hour and the nurse called me. She told me that I had to get to the hospital because I didn't have any blood or something like that. She said that she didn't know how I was even walking around, let alone stand. So I couldn't drive and had to get a ride to the hospital.
I got my ex to take me. He's such a asshole! He gets me to the hospital and drops me off at the door and leaves. He doesn't take me inside or even gets me a wheelchair or anything. He just lets me out of the car and takes off. I manage to get myself into the door and at the front desk and then collapse! I didn't even have enough strength to sit up in the chair. I just was a lump of flesh in the wheelchair.
I got 2 units of blood that day--oh and yeah--it was my birthday too! Great Birthday present to myself--2 units of blood! Ymm, Yumm! I stayed in the hospital until 8:00 that night and my daughter came to pick me up. Not a word was said from my ex,,,,,not one word to see if I was OK or anything. Something good happened to that day. One of the other employees I worked with went in and gave a pint of blood in my names hould I ever need it again. I don't rememeber he name now and wherever she is I would love to send her thought of kindness and love and hugs to her. She doesn't know what happened after my that.
Anyway as the story progresses I finally did get the transfer. Yippee! Save me money on gas and lots of time getting too and from work! I was happy. I was until the very first day that I got there!
The manager puts me on a sales thing and I have to stand for two hours. My leg begins to swell and I get nervous as all get out because I think it is another blood clot. The next day I have to call in sick so that I can get a Ultra Sound of my leg to see if I have a blood clot or not. This isn't just any blood clot it is a DVT and again, if it moves I am dead! Well he fires me! I find out that he cannot do this and go through arbitration procedures and all kinds of stuff. I was brought in and had to stand up in front of 6 other managers and asked all kinds of questions and I told them again that I could not stand for long periods of time. They dismiss me and I was told that I would be hearing from the lawyer with the company--conference call to my house. I was supposed to be able to tll my side of the wtory and the lawyer was only to be the mediator.
I get the call and it was a total disaster. The Manager brings up about my stomach ache at my last place of employment and says that I didn't want to work anyway---------and then hangs up the phone. I didn't get to tell them my side of what happened or anything. That manager was not a people person. He could care less about his employees health or welfare.About two weeks later I get a letter from the lawyer and it tells me.....................I don't have a job anymore. It took me over 10 years before i would go back into that store.
At the time this all was happening my youngest daughter decided that she would live with me. Her father, my ex did send me checks to cover her expenses. I used them for that too and nothing for myself. I needed that job! I needed it real bad...because I could not live with a 16 year old on what her father was sending me. So she went back to live with her father for 6 months.

About My Friend

During my stay there I visited my friend. I drove for 4 hours to his apartment and stayed the night. While I was there he had to go out to work (or so that was what he wanted me to believe) and I got to sit and watch a bit of T.V. Well I got curious and went to the bedroom. Somehting just didn't seem right and so as I was looking around I spied a women's shoe on the floor of the closet that was halfway opened. I didn't go into the closet, but just went back into the living room. He came in the door a few seconds later and I didn't mention anything. We had a nice visit and then it was time for me to go home.
When I got home I got a phone call the next day from some woman I had no idea who she was. She asked if I new my friend and I told her yes I knew him. She told me that he was still married and I said that I knew that. She also said the she was his lover too.....What?? WTF!!! She told me all about how they would visit--just like I would---not long visits and she told me it was because his wife was living with him and they had a son together and he was playing man and wife and also having 2 lovers and that didn't include me! She told me that she wanted to meet me and also to surprise him and confront him on this. So I drove right back to his apartment and I met her....and then he came in the door and saw us both standing there. The shocked look on his face and he made a fast exit to the bedroom. Funny though she followed him and I was not allowed in there at all--but I heard lots of angry words from her. No mind I just left and went home.
So that relationship was totally over. He did call me once while I lived in the cabin, but I ended it there. The crap he tried to tell me---he respected me highly------Respect--he didn't know the meaning of the word!
It is rather interesting though--my ex and the friend that set me up--they all thought that I was getting the divorce to go marry him! I really think that is why my ex never speaks to me--too much egg on his face--if he moves it will crack!!! haha!

Being Nice - And Moving On...

I know that it is not good to say bad things about your ex, especially in front of your kids. I know they are reading this and they must think that I am awful for talking bad about their father. The quote comes up in my mind that comes from the Disney Movie "Bambi" where Thumper's mother:was telling him, "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all."
Well...............
I can tell you that I loved his smile, he was the best cook and that he was very good in bed.........................so there those are three thngs that I loved about him............still do..............................only the rest of him sucks!!
*I* never wanted the divorce!!!!
When you are pushed against a wall, sometimes you just want out and away from the person whom pushed you there.
Soooo with that let's get to the next chapter...
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